The Uncherished Wife by Christina Vazquez

Author:Christina Vazquez [Vazquez, Christina]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781982211004
Publisher: Balboa Press
Published: 2018-09-19T04:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER SIX

Getting Clear

“If you don’t set a baseline standard for what you’ll accept in life, you’ll find it’s easy to slip into behaviors and attitudes or a quality of life that’s far below what you deserve.”

–Anthony Robbins

I tend to be an eclectic person. If you saw my home, you would know that. I’ve never been super matchy-matchy in decorating or my style of dress, either. The same applies to my therapeutic and coaching styles. I have been particularly drawn to the Law of Attraction and other universal laws. Intuitively, I have accomplished many of my goals by implementing some of these basic principles. Several years ago, I decided to take a more in-depth training to use this law more intentionally … probably because my dreams were getting bigger! Anyhoo, one of the best principles I learned from it was the importance – and I mean vital importance – of getting clear on what you want – in life and specifically your health, career, finances, your spirituality, and your relationships. By learning this sorting process of getting clear on what I wanted and what I didn’t want, I realized how many things I subconsciously was ambivalent about. If you don’t know LOA, a key factor of it is the Universe gives you back exactly what you put out. Like attracts like. An analogy I often use is, if I was at a restaurant hemming and hawing about what to order, the server would stand there until he or she was clear on what I wanted. He would want to get the order right! Same goes for the Universe … “Ask and it is given.” (BTW, a great book on LOA by Esther Hicks.) So what I am leading to here is two-fold. One is getting clear on what you do and don’t want in your marriage … the more crystal clear, the better. Second, develop communication skills to convey that truth to your partner.

Quite often when I ask a client “What do you want?” possibly because I am meeting them at a time of confusion, they typically respond with “I’m not sure.”

Okay, I get it – especially if they have been in long-term marriage where they have basically gone into a trance. So I have few tools I share with them to get the juices flowing.

I. Start with getting clear on what you don’t want.

Sometimes once we clear out those items, what we do want becomes more apparent.

II. A heart meditation/exploration.

Sit with your eyes closed and breathe for several minutes into your heart center. Actually visualize the breath going in and out of the heart. Ask the question to yourself, “What do I want and why?” Don’t go into your head! Stay in your heart and trust what arises. Notice how you feel at the hope of having this desire. The feeling is the clue to your wants.

III. Muscle test.

Remember what I said earlier about the body doesn’t lie? Often we think we want something based on others’ values or beliefs placed on us.

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